


Can I Lay By Your Side?

by wasiandonuts



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Day 7: Hurt/Sick/Comfort, F/F, Killing Eve Week, Killing Eve Week 2020, but don't worry the ending is super super soft, lots of feels, many eMOTiOns maybe too many
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:35:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26321260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wasiandonuts/pseuds/wasiandonuts
Summary: After months together on the run after the bridge, Villanelle and Eve get into trouble with the Twelve. Eve gets hurt and Villanelle looks after her in the hospital, grappling with much pain, angst and love.For full emotional effect and my inspiration for this fic, listen to sam smith’s “lay me down”.
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 16
Kudos: 140
Collections: Killing Eve Week 2020





	Can I Lay By Your Side?

White-hot pain blooms all throughout Eve’s midsection. She doesn’t remember what totally happened because everything fell one after another so quickly; her mind still needs to catch up to her physical state. Which is currently very grave. 

Then she feels a hand.

A soft, tender hand, pressing at her side. Eve almost laughs but groans instead as her inhalation causes a deep shock of pain to erupt. There is a laughable irony in this situation. Eve just can’t quite put her finger one it, maybe it’s because she is losing a  _ lot  _ of blood at the moment. 

“Eve! Eve. Focus on me. Stay with me.”

Is that...Villanelle? Ah yes, the irony. Eve closes her eyes for a moment to try and remember that last time they were in the same conundrum. It was in Paris. Yes. Paris. Villanelle’s apartment. Eve was in her turtl--

“No, Eve! No eye closing! Look at me. Please.”

Eve flicks her eyes open and tries to focus on the woman currently trying to save her life. Villanelle’s sharp cheekbones and hazel eyes come into focus for just a second until blurring away again. Eve only can sense movements and the slight outline of the blonde, either it is the tears that cloud Eve’s vision or the painful haze but Eve can feel herself slipping slowly.

“Can...you...call...Car-”

“Yes, yes Eve. I already did. She said they would be here. If they ask, your name is June, okay? And I am your  _ wife _ , um, Lenora.”

Eve musters up a small chuckle at that small detail. A wince ultimately follows.

“Oof. You...added...that last...part didn’t...you?”

“We have to be believable, Eve. And plus, we are basically married. Which means even more that you can’t leave me.”

Villanelle moves one of her hands from Eve’s side to hold Eve’s hand that lays limply on the cold concrete. While Eve so wants to promise that she will grow old with Villanelle (whatever that may look like), the gash widening from a stab wound says otherwise. One of the Twelve’s new recruits probably did this. Not a wound to cause an instant fatality, but “one that hurts pretty fucking bad and could get dangerous,” according to Villanelle.

The sun is starting to set outside of the abandoned parking garage where the fight took place. The assailant made a quick getaway after being shot at by the most talented assassin Eve knows. She looks at her now. Villanelle’s eyes are constantly scanning the surroundings then back to Eve’s face then to Eve’s wound then back to the emptiness of the cement walled garage.

“I think I hear sirens, Eve. It is going to be okay. You are going to be okay. A couple more minutes…”

Eve can hear the tears threatening to break down Villanelle. For the past year, the ‘brink of breaking down’ look has grown familiar to Eve. And usually, a hug and some spaghetti would cheer the Russian up. But now, Eve knows there is nothing she can do but fight. Yet, it is getting harder and harder to remain conscious.

The pain turns numb and through her peripheral vision, Eve can see a pool of sticky, red blood surrounding her lifeless body. It is time. Eve can feel her soul draining. Well, she can’t  _ actually _ feel much right now except for Villanelle’s strong hand. Eve’s eyes droop a bit, and she can’t quite make out what Villanelle is screaming at her. But she can see the panic rising in the other woman’s face, bloodshot eyes brimming with an ocean of tears, and the wild urgency in Villanelle’s hands as they try to keep Eve alive.

“V…”

“EVE! Please! Stay with me.”

“I..love…”

Then everything goes black.

* * *

52 hours.

Villanelle has been profusely checking her watch. Maybe too much. But 52 hours have passed since Eve has been in an induced coma. Villanelle just thinks of it as a long sleep or else her mind will go to darker places. Dr. Yang hasn’t given Villanelle a definite answer on what will happen to Eve, except “we are still monitoring her condition” to which Villanelle had accidentally almost strangled the poor doctor out of frustration.

52 hours also marks the amount of time that Villanelle has been in the hospital, in an old, wooden waiting chair next to Eve’s hospital bed. It’s getting hard. Really hard. A couple of times, Villanelle checks the heart rate monitor, and it drops lower than normal. A few times that this happened, she had to clear the room and anxiously peer in from the hallway outside, praying that Eve would make it through and wiping tears away.

Now, it is probably 3am outside of the bright white walls of the Intensive Care Unit. Villanelle, perhaps in her state of sleep deprivation and delirium, or pure hopelessness, talks to Eve. Her voice comes out hoarse and full of sorrow. She hasn’t had a proper meal or a bath in days yet she refuses to leave Eve alone.

“You can’t hear me right now but I want you to know that I am here. There are no words I can say to tell you how much I miss you. And how you call me an asshole and give me  _ that  _ look when I tick you off. I miss your hand when you gently put it on my face. I just miss all of you.

I am not leaving you anymore. I know you got kind of mad when I told you to turn around and walk away. But hey. Look at us now. I mean or don’t. It isn’t pretty  _ right now _ . You are pretty banged up. Though, Eve, you are the strongest person I know so you are going to be okay.”

Villanelle pinches her nose and rolls her neck trying to stay awake just in case Eve stirs. She reaches out for something to ground her and softly holds Eve’s hand. Villanelle scooches the old rickety chair closer next to the white-clad hospital bed. She sighs. It is almost romantic being in a room alone with Eve like a couple of old wives. Even if Eve is asleep, Villanelle can feel the warmth and electricity coming from the other woman’s limp hand. It excites Villanelle that there is still the feisty MI6 agent in this unconscious woman, ready for action whenever she gets better.

“Not the time for joking but you look like an octopus with all of these wires coming out of you. And Eve. Whew. That blue hospital gown is not very fashionable. Remind me to take you on a shopping spree. Maybe I will get you a Versace dress! No, no, that’s not you. Ooh! I can buy a patterned Gucci suit and then you a sexy Alexander McQueen dress. We are going to look so sexy together.”

Villanelle drifts off in an imagination of her and Eve waltzing around Paris or dancing together in London. But Villanelle can’t actually do these things unless Eve gets better. She  _ has  _ to get better.

“Eve.”

Villanelle squeezes Eve’s still hand tighter.

“I’ll look after you, okay? Just come back to me. Please.”

Then sleep pulls her away, and Villanelle slumps down on the hospital bed railing with Eve’s hand still in her grasp.

* * *

Beeping. Alarms screaming.

_ No. No, no, no, no. No. No. _

_ Eve. _

Villanelle wakes to flashing lights and an orchestra of sirens and beeps. Her hand remains in Eve’s as she quickly surveys Eve. Her side. It’s blood red. She’s bleeding through her bandages. Her chest is rising erratically and probably isn’t getting enough oxygen. Villanelle knows to look for these things in all of her Twelve training, and it hits her that Eve might not make i--no, she won’t say it, she won’t manifest it.

“DOCTOR!”

Villanelle yells with all of her might. A crackled voice piercing through the halls. Dr. Yang comes running out of her office straight for Eve Polastri’s room, followed by a band of nurses. 

“Ma’am. You need to clear the room.”

“No. I am not leaving.”

“Ms. Astankova, you need to leave the room now.”

“Let me talk to her at least.”

The nurse commanding Villanelle to leave nods her head and gives the shaken blonde a moment while she preps a bunch of medical supplies.

“Eve. You can hear me, I know it.”

Villanelle can barely see through wet hot tears clouding her eyesight. She bites her lip to try and distract her from the intense panic growing in the pit of her stomach. Villanelle leans over Eve’s laying body and bends down to clutch the cold hand to her heart.

“I love you. I need you to understand that which means even if these medical people kick me out, I will be right outside that door. Waiting for you. So stay with me, Eve. You are all I have left on this damned planet. I love you so m-”

“Ms. Astankova. We need to act fast. You need to go.”

Nodding in defeat, Villanelle collects her bag and her sweater and heads for the door. Turning back one last time, she sees a small, unconscious Eve, struggling to breathe with alarms filling up the room. Eve is almost peaceful in the center of it all. Dr. Yang and a team of nurses begin to block Villanelle’s view of Eve and before Villanelle starts to sob, she turns and shuts the door behind her.

* * *

24 hours later.

“The stab wound apparently went through the lower part of her left lung. She couldn’t get enough oxygen and so we had to perform emergency surgery to fix the punctured lung.”

Dr. Yang’s words come into Villanelle’s ears muffled and distorted. She had not been with Eve for 24 whole hours; they had recommended that she go home or stay in the waiting room. There was no home to return to, and Carolyn had arranged for protection hospital grounds, so Villanelle fell asleep, silently crying, on the uncomfortable couch in the waiting area.

When she woke up, Eve was back in her room although no visitors were allowed as she recovered from an emergency midnight surgery to remedy the excess trauma from the stabbing. Dr. Yang appeared before her to brief her on what happened with Eve although it was as if all of her senses were numbed, feeling and hearing nothing.

“--she should be awake in a few hours and after we run some tests and ensure everything is healing nicely, you two can perhaps go home soon.”

Wait.

Now, that news catches Villanelle’s ears. 

Eve...is going to be awake? And okay? Villanelle’s nose starts stinging with tears, happy ones, but none come. She probably used them all up on the poor waiting room couch last night.

“Doctor, are you telling me that Eve is alright? She is normal again?”

Dr. Yang chuckles and smiles at the disheveled, exhausted Russian woman. 

“It might take her a while to walk or do all of the things she did before, but yes. With time to heal, Eve will be back in no time.”

Letting out a huge sigh of relief, Villanelle leans back and runs her hands through her thoroughly knotted hair.  _ Eve came back. Eve really did! _

Villanelle tiptoes across the familiar cramped room and drops her stuff on the chair that she has made her home over the past few days. Only then does she truly notice the bad shape  _ she  _ is in. Her back and side aches from the terrible sleeping arrangements, and not to be too dramatic, but Villanelle can almost feel her own stab wound throb. 

Grabbing a bag of chips from her bag and a drawing notepad and pen, Villanelle settles in the chair’s unpleasant grooves and stuffs a chip in her mouth. She clicks the pen and restarts her work on a sketch. Villanelle is no artist, but in Eve’s stillness, she had begun to sketch the love of her life to pass the time. Maybe she’ll show Eve one day.

* * *

“Vil?”

A soft whisper cuts through the darkness of the night. Villanelle thinks she imagines the quiet voice and keeps her eyes closed. Her drawing notepad lays closed on the floor near her chair, and she is wrapped in her sweater, half-asleep in her favorite tiny hospital chair.

“Villanelle?” A grunt then a rustle of the sheets.

This one sounds kind of real now. Cracking one eye open, Villanelle’s heart beats faster. Eve is turned towards her, eyes half open, hair splattered on the white pillow. She moves her hands and arms a bit, wincing from the tight bandages and tangled tubes. She is awake. And alive. And here, now, staring gratefully at Villanelle.

“Eve? EVE!”

Villanelle kicks off her makeshift blanket and leaps out of her seat, ignoring the banging of the falling chair behind her. She almost jumps into Eve’s weak arms before remembering the intense pain that Eve is probably suffering through at the moment. Instead of joyously hopping on to the bed, Villanelle carefully walks up beside Eve’s bed.

“Can I lay by your side?

Eve nods weakly. “I would like that.”

Villanelle slowly crawls in the bed (totally ignoring Dr. Yang’s instructions to leave the patient alone) and slips her arm around Eve, cradling her in the process.

Rather than holding a sleeping Eve’s hand just a few hours ago, Villanelle is now embracing the real, awake person. She scans Eve’s face, nose, mouth, eyes, hair, neck, and all the way down to the wound. Without knowing it, she reaches for the area, gently grazing her fingertips across the gown, feeling the rough bandages.

“Does it hurt?”

Eve laughs softly. Oh, her laugh. Villanelle didn’t think she would hear it again. Her heart flutters, and she hugs Eve tighter, resting her head on Eve’s. They both gaze into the other’s eyes for a minute, a mix of disbelief, relief, happiness, and worry swirling behind tears. Eve nestles her head into the crook of Villanelle’s neck and breathes out. Villanelle feels the warm breath and is so, so glad for it.

“Yeah, it kinda fucking does.”

Eve wraps her arm from her uninjured side around Villanelle’s waist, and they hold each other for what seems like an eternity. Just existing next to each other and sharing unspoken gratitudes and love letters between them as they rest in the restrictive hospital bed. 

Villanelle closes her eyes but cracks them back open when Eve says, “I heard them.”

“Heard what?”

“The words you were telling me. I really did hear them.”

Villanelle pulls back a bit to look at Eve. She barely remembers all of the stuff she said and was most likely very sleep-deprived and out of her mind. Villanelle just knows they carried the same message: she missed Eve. She missed Eve so much, poking fun at her, spending time with her, going on dangerous missions with her, and like now, being next to her.

“Yeah? Well, I missed you a lot and had no one to talk to. So I guess I’d talk to the corpse that I had with me. You know you are very boring when you are half dead, Eve.”

“Even through all of that, you still manage to be an insufferable dick.”

They both chuckle, and Villanelle leans in, lips inches apart before Eve stops her with her pointer finger.

“Hey, I love you too.”

Villanelle beams and gently places her hand on Eve’s jaw. She leans back in and places a chaste, “welcome back” kiss on Eve’s cracked, but still perfect lips. Pulling apart, they rest their foreheads against one another’s and close their eyes, savoring this moment of peace and joy.

“I was a mess without you, Eve.”

“I know. And you should know by now that I was and still am obsessed with you. So I would never, ever, ever, leave you alone.  _ You  _ are my future, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Both Villanelle and Eve rarely got happy endings in their lives. But here, as they lay next to each other, full of love and hope, they know they can take on anything together. 

**THE END.**

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaannnnd there we go! Hope I didn't hurt everybody too much with the last day of Killing Eve Week<3
> 
> I haven't written something like that before so I apologize if it was a bit clunky. Thank you all for supporting my work throughout this week, I love all of you readers and fellow creators so so much!!
> 
> If you care, WLD is gonna be updated on WEDNESDAY, not today! Had a lot of stuff to write and am a bit behind :/
> 
> AS ALWAYS: link up w me on tumblr or twitter @wasiandonuts...i love talking to y'all :)


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